Always thinking

Blue Max

Brilliant, brutal and ruthless...Equal to all men, and greater than most...

posted by Road less travelled @ 12:53 AM 0 comments

Life's focus

There is an article on Yahoo News today telling a US army soldier adopting an Iraqi boy and said: my life used to be focus on me, now it has changed, at least I have someone else to focus on.

Then again, Nan and I talked today and topic has covered the problmes that China faces, we both came from China we know that China is more than what they appear to be to the world, it always has been the case. The only difference is today's China appears to be stronger, powerful, richer and full of opportunity. In fact, she is more than that: Financial banking system, angriculture, relative poverty among majority Chinese non-urban population are part of real China. It's reported that the growth speed of Chinese cell phone user # for the first user decreases in 2004. That reflects the gap: majority of urban population has been covered wirelessly while majority of farmers don't have access to cell phones, or don't have the money or luxery to access it. Before they have spare money to expanse, they will never have that chance. When their life will be good enough not to worry living, we do not know. This is the gap.

Comparing to how people living at the bottom of the society in China, it's all apearing trival that I am doing: start up venture focusing on certain business model, how that would be beneficial to poorest people? Maybe I can make normal urban citizen's life better, make business prosper, maybe it will affect the society in whole, only in that way, I shall be able to say: today I no longer only focus on my life, I care for others as well.

I do.

The talk with Yang bo was good. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and the whole house belonged to me.

And I watched Blue Max first part. It was excellent.

posted by Road less travelled @ 11:42 PM 0 comments

What "TOM" tells me today.

TOM is a popular Chinese website/mobile site. Like all other Chinese website, it fill its homepage with tons of street news. One of them is about a blonde girl found her love in China, who is one of millions of "farmer workers". Most of them do not graduate middle school before joining work force. About 10 years ago, My spoken english teacher who was in her early 20's graduated from Brown and teaching our chinese students spoken English fell for such a guy who worked as construction worker and they got married. Similar things happen twice to my attention: Is this a coinstance or a sign? In both cases, two guys appeared to be very friendly, sunny, innocent, helpful: which is important for girls who set their foot in a culture that are completely different. Girls are drawn to these characters. I did almost the same thing to one German girl and one French girl in 1997 and 2000. Only that I study in US and have graduate degrees. Maybe bar scene is no longer good, maybe it's time to go back to the origin, be yourself. Maybe it's a sign.

posted by Road less travelled @ 11:07 PM 0 comments

World according to Billy

Billy the cat. I came to realize cat is like human, the only difference is they look different, they can't speak English. Billy likes to say hi, when I get home. Billy likes the sound of utencil knocking each other, she will then come to our fabulous kitchen, pretents to touch her catty food: she pretends pretty well, like normal human who wants to get his/her friends help them out but don't have the guts to ask but circumvent the situation. She will look back, look up, or even look away. When she waits too long, she will start miowing impatiently to you, she does not hide her feeling now. But if she waits too too long, she will just walk away. If she is in good mood, she will just come in asking for nothing, except attention, she will keep miowing until you turn to her and do something. That's Billy. Isn't she just like everyone else?

posted by Road less travelled @ 10:45 PM 0 comments

Unexpected "Hero"

While watching maggie chang finghting zhang ziyi in the golden woods, I suddenly found myself waken from years of dreams of searching for the woman that doesn't belong to me. Nobody will come to you at your will. Let alone the one you wish to spend the rest of your life. Maybe the only thing good is to do what you are supposed to do, expect nothing.

Hero is great.

posted by Road less travelled @ 10:50 PM 0 comments

Lynn is back

As expected, she is back in town; as always, I picked her up. She turns other's favor into something that is flavorable, like what she did once again tonight, designed a super nice dish with sliced raw salmon and fresh salad, after I picked up 70% her shopping tab, delightfully. She lured Jim into a state of mind that she and he are both knowledge mapping thinker, or a visual thinker. While Nan called on my cell in an old fashion and claimed her intention to compete with me on beer drinking, she is also lured by Lynn's attractive offer of hot tub under the shinging star tonight at 11pm, so much that she has almost decided to come. 3 minutes before 11pm, she called again:"I really love the idea of coming over for hot tub but I am too sleepy to be up for that tonight, even though Lynn made that sounds very enticing, I guess I will pass this time". "Of course, go to bed if you are sleepy, if you want to stick to your mind, you can't listen to her voice, you can't see her, in fact, as long as you are remotely affected by Lynn's molucure, you won't be able to refuse it since she will always find her way to make it undeclinable. My method is to turn around and fart, and she will go away..." That is my kind of joke offered to Nan, but that is, indeed, true. It's good to her around.

posted by Road less travelled @ 11:02 PM 0 comments

Microsoft Ad Casting

I almost told everyone that I got this opporotunity to cast for a big budget Microsoft ad campaign which takes place at San Francisco down town. But I did not. That feels good when I finally managed the cover the news. Last night I even had a dream almost the whole night about casting for it, so much I woke up very tired like sitting up for the whole night without shutting my eyes. I knew it would be a good opportunity this time, not like casting for Mr. Phil of PG&E almost a year ago: they call upon me for 2nd time casting and eventually gave up.

It's been a crazy day at work and couldn't get out of work as planned around 4:10pm. The driving to SF from SJ at peak time can be tricking: it is supposed to be 54 minutes by taking 101 without traffic. So my plan of taking 101 detouring 280 with final destination of SF down town has a big questions mark on it. It's like driving for a destiny: there can not be any higup along the way otherwise...I was lucky in that matter, I was able to maintain average 65 yo 75 miles per hour the whole trip while trying to figure out which exit to take. My score: 5:45 I arrived at parking lot which isn't too bad and my strategy certainly worked.

I've been to this casting office down on 1st for a few times now and I left a msg to casting director about my being late. The worst thing is I couldn't almost hold to pee. On the contrary though, it's been proven many times that while you are under pressure, human can hold as long as they want: at least it's true to me.

I walked to third floor: Kristen is not a pretty woman but she is very nice. "Oh, here you are" she made me feel at home all of a sudden. There came this indian boy who asked me to sign up and explained a little bit about what I need to do, it's quite simple: I need to choose five adjectives from a list and say them in manderin while director says "start something new": I chose 5 words obviously reflecting my interst: loving, active, healthy, ambitious and delicious. They almost cover my entire character and personality. With that under my belt, it's a piece of cake, at least I thought so.

Here open the doors: I am no longer nervous this time. Casting director seems to be geniuely interested in my background, and she is cute, kinda. We started once and proceed normally to the point I was ready to speak Chinese: all of a sudden I realized the rule is not what I thought: it's more like speaking in Chinese begining with "start something new" + adjectives. I got a bit nervous and quickly went over 5 adjectives I chose in my head if they are easy or good to put in such context. They are NOT. I didn't understand what casting director tried to find out from this. Am I supposed to? If so, I would have come in earlier and digest the whole script and found out how to deal with it. I started all over again, given a second chance by her.
"Now tell me your name"
"Grant", "English name"
"Tell me what is your Chinese name"
"Jian"
"Great, how many years you have been in States"
"8 years now, mainly in school"
"wow, you don't seem to have much accent, must be working on it a lot"
"yeh, school, you know", "but I have been working after graduating from school"
"what do you do""
"project manager"
"Ok, show me your profile"
By profile, casting director means you side image, if you don't know.
"Now, are you ready to get started?"
I stared at her for 10 seconds"I think so"
"You think so or you are sure"
Damn, I am not sure but what can I do "yes, I am sure"
this time I know I lied.

"Ok, start"
"Start something (involving) active (lifestyle)" I was not sure whether I am supposed to be add context, but I was not comfortable.
"Start something healthy activity", it's getting worse, I felt it. Now I felt the pressure in real life TV show such "apprentice" or "project runway". It's definetely not healthy the way it was getting.
"now, tell me what you just said"
I lost my tongue, I didn't know what to explain since I didn't what I was trying to say. I was surprised it's actually difficult to speak up in this situation, given I am native Chinese speaker, it felt that cat caught my tongue.
"ok, speak one adjective in three different ways" she instructed.
I didn't know what to say although I did pop up something, but it was nonsense.

Kristen was looking at the TV screen hanged on the ceiling, which made me a bit nervous while watching her worrisome expression. Finally Director gestured me to stop, "We had a little communication breakdown" Kristen said, when I heard that, game is over. That is it.

I stepped out, didn't know what I should do. There was another tall girl who was waiting outside, to whom they started explaining the rules again. It's inbearable to me to re-hear the whole thing.

I kept repeating "start something" but couldn't find the right adjectives in right contexts, what happened? Is that really so that my Chinese is receding after all these years? Or it's just a question to giving a little more time for practicing the script? I am puzzled, of course, frustrated.

posted by Road less travelled @ 10:33 PM 0 comments

Why do you help me?

Because the way you are looking at me now...

posted by Road less travelled @ 11:11 PM 0 comments

I know, about your suffer

I know about your woman.
She was my wife.

Peace is made such way.
Slave is made such way!

One day, you will be queen,
You must open your eyes.

posted by Road less travelled @ 10:25 PM 0 comments

Ali is not that bad

Ali, the production control manager, the ex-PM, the bald, shaved head guy, the guy who somewhat loves the blackboard and lecturing, turns out not that bad. Oh, yeah, he loves chalk, or highlighter and a room filled with stupid people who are all listening to his mumbelling. Oh yeah, once he has certain impression of you, he will put all blockade on you and you are dead in his mind. But he is not actually bad. "Grant, can you come in tomorrow morning at 9am to clean up the RMA revenue impact?" he asked, "I will have to leave by 10:30, the latest" that is how he approached me. "9am at Saturday morning?" I responsed, is he out of his mind? I never get up before noon on Saturday and how should I get up at 9am, let alone driving 20 miles to work? "hey bud, I need your help" "how far do you live from here" "10 minutes" "yes, I live 20 miles away", "that's 5 more minutes drive bud",.whatever. He is not that bad. Saturday came by fast and in no time I sit in front of my PC and start cranking some code. Here came the knocking "how long you need to finish? 15 more minutes?" "probably 5" I said "I am starving, I got to get some MacDonald for breakfast, do you need some", "um, yeah, do you mind?" "no, what do you need? ham or sausage?" "ham, and coffee" "I'll be right back"...minutes later, I remembered that I don't like cold ham so I called "Ali?" "yes?" "have you ordered yet?" "not yet", "can I switch to sausage, instead of ham?" "that is it?" "yes" "no problem" he was laughing...

The MacDonald breakfast is great, especially the coffee.

Ali always open up with this:"my friend, I have good news and bad news, which one you want first". "bad news, of course" good news means no action needed, why waste time right". "Ok, here is a few typo, would you please take a look?" "of course, I'll be right back", 10 minutes later, more like 8 minutes later, there came the knocking again, Mr. Ali, what's up? "You have not finished yet?" "of course, not!" "I would have finished in 45 seconds!, that must be something goofy happening here" "nothing goofy, I am just do by rule for now" "no, something goofy" he sits down and start revising by himself, I was standing by, watching his bald vertex, this is a funny man!

posted by Road less travelled @ 1:49 PM 0 comments

Stone's visit from Shanghai

Stone has come and gone for a week now, almost. It was tightest week for me, cash wise as both of us did not bring enough of cash on our hand and guess what, we are heading to Vegas without literally $80 cash, $30 in my, $50 in his. But it was somewhat a luxary trip though, if thinking about the card swiping purchasing experience where we ended up eating in the best possible resturant in Vegas and had a "senior" waiter with a CEO looking serving us, it came with a cost, of course. Gambling wise, two lessons: with great strategy, you will win: I tripled my money on slot machine, and doubled on black jack. Lesson two, if you keep playing with Casino permanantly, you will lose: that is the rule of the thumb. So, when you feel you are on a wining track, end it and switch to another table or casino all tegother. That is double wining strategy.

Vegas will not be great without Bellegio's music fountain. Zumanity is so so.

posted by Road less travelled @ 1:03 PM 0 comments