Always thinking

You are my first priority

This is the first time in 2012 that I finally remembered to revisit the road less traveled. It's a Saturday night when I have completed my 30s, grew up from a boy to a man, ended my first marriage, on a hunt to the next journey. It's mother's day, 2012. It's a night a 2004 movie called notebook was on. It's a night that my 10 months effort of launching our first significant startup will give birth to two websites. It's a night I once again missed my wife, where is she now, what is she doing? Almost 15 years now since I came to the States, I grew from a boy to an almost middle aged man in this Internet age, hopeful as ever, I am still that boy yearning for love and independence. My biggest, most urgent desire is to be able to take care of my aging parents, they are too old to run the errands, to travel between cities on buses, trains, too old to carry big bags in the subway, too old to come home only to find it's completely vandalized, they are too old to have little chicken-lets as the old babies they can "love". But they are all true. All these unlikely situations are my realities. It's hard not to feel terrified in my shoes, anyone else would. Somehow, I still believe I am doing the right thing, and the right things for me has always taken longer than most people. Dad, Mom, please be patient with me, please. Please believe in me, give me a little more time. I will come home to take care of you. Caroline, my loving wife, I let you down. And I wish I have second chance to make it right. It's been so long since I last time see you, 3+ years now, I miss you, I miss you. One day no matter where you are, who you are with, it will be enough if I can just have a glimpse of you again. I wish you well, I wish you happy, although I know it will be extremely difficult to see you in someone else's arm. Please, some night when you look into the dark sky, one of those stars will remind you that autumn we spent together. I love you all, my family. You are my only priority.

posted by Road less travelled @ 12:16 AM