Always thinking

To go out or not to go out

When work or life isn't so busy, and when I am alone (most of the time), I often struggle to find a place to go on a weekend day.

I would wake up in the morning, make simple breakfast, washup and as if get ready for a trip out. Wherever it might be. Mostly likely in a good day, I will pick a hiking trail in the north bay or east bay and walk a few hours alone, get immersed into the nature. Most of the time, I feel great after doing it.

In a stormy day like today, I have been debating about three options, going to redwood park for a short hike followed by a hot starbucks coffee while reading/writing random stuff on my brand new macbook air (I still remember when my vw jetta turbo was brand new back in 2003, and I kept calling it "brand new" even years after, suddenly I felt sad about my macbook air, i hope it will stay in "brand new" condition till I completely figure out the full potential of it.)

2nd option is to go get buruta cheese from cowgirl at ferry building, but then I struggle about how to get there, by bus or drive. Taking bus is easier but its time consuming and inconvenient when you have stuff to carry, driving takes longer for parking. I also want to follow up with a short shopping trip to express to buy the shirt I always wanted.

3rd options would be relaxing, taking my macbook air with me to starbucks on filmore street, then go watch a movie at clay: it's been my top option for many cozy Sunday afternoons.

Eventually I didn't do any of it, I almost leaned over to the 3rd option, but the movie choice at Clay isn't a good one for me, I find watching movies at AMC maybe more appealing. Besides, when I think about the reason I love sitting at starbucks, I also think about what I really achieve in terms of getting things done. My work efficiency at starbucks are not top notch, at least not as good as when i am fully plugged in at home, alone without distraction. The joy of sitting at starbucks is the removal of the feeling of being alone, although I am not plugged in 100% my working mood, I am somewhat plugged into the society. That is why I like about it

But today, a stormy day like this. I should stay home with a simple hot tea, sitting on my sofa, in my beautiful apartment that is all to myself, really appreciate enjoying it. And it's good to take sometime to think about things, instead of just walking on the streets, looking, and keeping my head like a blank sheet.

When I am mentally settled, happy with where I am at this particular moment, I find I am no longer dissatisfied with "Now", I am able to just appreciate "Now", even it's boring, alone, lonely.

I bought macbook air partially for the convenience to bring it to coffeeshop to get some looks. But now I am starting to appreciate it just for its brilliant design.

What is this teaching me?

Peace of mind.

Don't rattle my mind and rally my body when they are not ready. Otherwise, I may seem to be busy and doing things, going places. In fact, all these doing and going aren't necessary, they aren't bringing real joy, they maybe even waste of time, a waste that I don't realize.

Let the mind settle, let the body rest. And when it's time to strike, strike it all out

posted by Road less travelled @ 1:44 PM