Always thinking

Dreadful beautiful weekends

Weekends, summer, beautiful weather, ocean, beach, holidays...these are what life is about in your spare time: enjoying life. But now I am afraid of them, any of them, all of them.

What weekends are in it for me? Nothing. I don't look forward to weekends, beautiful weathers, they only make loneliness stand out more, make life harder to go by. Yes I want to be own boss, command my own destiny, do whatever I want, meet whoever I wish for. No I am not there yet, to do it alone. Being alone is the only option that I have.

Once you deeply engage another human being in a committed relationship, you become attached to anything it stands for. When suddenly it left you, life becomes hollow, people say time is the best remedy. But it has proven to be hard.

My mind is constantly off the career I work hard to pursue, it's constantly wandering. Time is a timed bomb on its own. sometime I just have to turn to TV for some distraction, it works, but far from solving my problem.

Letting go is hard.

Hanging on to it is hard.

posted by Road less travelled @ 6:45 PM